For Mollie

for mollie…

(field notes on a journey of integration)

 

 

 

yes i have abused.

looking

for something to in gest   that    doesn’t     just

kill the pain

but replaces it

with        MANIA!        infatuated frenzy being loudly laughing

high        bursting          with every emotion at once and selling

the empty drum           to the lowest bidder

combing the flea market

inside

a poem

my body

some memories

a friend

day two         i’d be a new person

victim

of the old and it always took some reorganizing but

at length                                i could    identify with both

without                          ever                                really meeting either

discolored   pain   rusting   suspension   beams   teetering

over the commerce center below   the climate   change

separated   by logistic leaps   and defiant dungeons

circling   hamsters on a weight     loss       wheel

as it became

less and less

necessary to pretend

we couldn’t

see            the bridge